


Bridges Burned

by DisasterMages



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bittersweet, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 04:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10550216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisasterMages/pseuds/DisasterMages
Summary: "Not for the first time did Jesse feel like both the ring and the chain it hung from were burning into his skin, but usually it only did that when Jesse had thought about Gabe for too long. Jesse tried to press a hand to where the ring was discreetly, wanting to feel the shape of it through his shirt for some sort of comfort, some life line to Gabe wherever he was."





	

Absolutely none of this felt right. Jesse sat up from the cot and looked around, his back already protesting as his eyes adjusted to something besides the ceiling. He could make out faint shapes in the darkness, could hear Reinhardt’s snoring from across the room, Jesse hadn’t missed that at all, could just barely make out the facial features of who was in the cot next to his, but he hadn’t missed any of it. The one person he would’ve missed, the one person who could’ve made this feel like home again wouldn’t answer the recall, he couldn’t, not when he was dead.

Jesse ran over the word a few times in his mind, trying to attach it to Gabe like he’d been trying to for years, but it never stuck, it didn’t seem like Gabe could really ever be dead. But he was, Jesse reminded himself, Angela had been the one to tell him after the Swiss Incident. She hadn’t answered questions for him then, telling him that there was too much for her to do, and she wouldn’t answer questions now, telling him that he should just move on and changing the subject abruptly. That didn’t feel right either, she had to have tried to save Gabe, she did try didn’t she?

There was too much that didn’t make sense about it, too many things that didn’t add up and didn’t sound like Gabriel. Jesse knew him better than the others had, he knew what Gabe wouldn’t have done, and he knew when Jack was lying about him, he knew when Ana was trying to avoid telling him anything. 

Throwing the blanket off his legs, Jesse groped around in the dark for his boots, he couldn’t sit down here anymore, he couldn’t think because of how quiet it was. Jesse slipped out of the room quietly, making sure not to wake anyone as he pulled his boots on in the hallway and took the stairs to the bridge, a half full pack of cigarettes hanging loosely in his hand.

He and Gabe had never spent much time here, Watchpoint: Gibralter hadn’t been a Blackwatch post or even under their jurisdiction, but they’d been there together once or twice, and Jesse felt a smile pull at the memory.

“I want to show you something.” Gabe had told him, offering no explanation or telling Jesse where he was being taken, but Jesse had taken Gabe’s hand anyway, more than willing to see what Gabe had to show him. Gabe had taken him up on the rocks and turned Jesse towards the sunset, holding him from behind and kissing his shoulder as Jesse took it all in. The sunset was beautiful, but Gabe… Gabe seemed to glow in that light, smiling at Jesse when he’d looked back at him. Jesse had kissed him then, warm and in the sun and just being held by someone who loved him. Maybe it had been Gabe who’d been warm right then, Jesse would’ve believed it, especially now that Gabe was gone and so was his warmth, making Jesse feel like the sun had moved behind the clouds for way too long.

The breeze was a saving grace with its coolness, blowing Jesse’s hair in his face as inhaled deeply, blowing out smoke as he wiped at his eyes. He missed Gabe, he missed his warmth, he missed Gabe just being there and loving him, and he missed loving Gabe, but that hadn’t really stopped yet, had it? Jesse reaches under his shirt and pulls out a chain, running his thumb over the shape of the ring it ran through. It was from Gabe; it had been a promise. A promise that things wouldn’t always be how bad they’d been, a promise that once the worst of it was over, that they would’ve built a life together. 

“Does it trouble you?” Jesse jumped at the intrusion and closed his hand around the ring protectively, standing up as he turned his head.

“Forgive me, I did not mean to startle you,” Zenyatta said, holding his place in front of Jesse “I only meant to inquire about your wellbeing.” Relaxing a little, Jesse dropped the ring back under his shirt, stepping out his cigarette before he looked at Zenyatta again.

“Just didn’t expect to be bothered up here.” Jesse mumbled, wishing there was some kind of railing to lean against, it would make looking relaxed a lot easier. Zenyatta said nothing right then and Jesse took his eyes off of him and crossed his arms over his chest.

It was late, no one should’ve been up to come and see why he was moping with his head in the past. “I did not intend to intrude, you appeared to be lost in your thoughts, and I thought it best to bring you out of them.” The patient tone in Zenyatta’s voice never wavered, though part of Jesse wished it would. 

Saying nothing, Jesse took half a step to the side and sat down on the bridge again, the air was still cool, but it didn’t help Jesse think of something to say to get those eyes off of him. It could’ve been worse; it could’ve been someone who knew why he was up here or someone who would’ve wanted him to talk about it. 

“It’s not any trouble for me.” Jesse said, feeling a little bit of defensiveness creep into his voice. Zenyatta didn’t know Gabe and probably only knew what Genji might’ve mentioned on the off chance that he did. Jesse was protective of every memory he had of Gabe and everything he still had from Gabe. Jesse reached for and lit another cigarette, he was going to need another pack if Zenyatta wanted him to talk about this.

“Was the ring from someone you cared for?” Jesse looked up at the question, he hadn’t even thought Zenyatta had seen it, let alone known what it meant. 

“You could say that.” Jesse said after a long silence, wanting to reach for the ring again, but holding off. He’d only met Zenyatta, and even if his intentions were good, Jesse was in no hurry to show him any kinds of weakness. The answer seemed to be satisfactory to Zenyatta for a moment, but he didn’t back away or leave Jesse to his thoughts again, hovering just close enough that Jesse could see him. 

Not for the first time did Jesse feel like both the ring and the chain it hung from were burning into his skin, but usually it only did that when Jesse had thought about Gabe for too long. Jesse tried to press a hand to where the ring was discreetly, wanting to feel the shape of it through his shirt for some sort of comfort, some life line to Gabe wherever he was. 

“Does it mean something?” Zenyatta asked, keeping his face forward, maybe for Jesse’s sake.

“It used to be a promise.” Jesse whispered, his eyes shifting, less protective now, more distant, like he was trying to send himself somewhere far away with someone long gone. He thought of the night Gabe gave him the ring, now nervous he’d been and how he’d told him that it wasn’t an engagement ring yet. Gabe had promised him that after it was over, that after they’d gotten away from all of this, that they would get to do all the things they talked about, that they would just get to be together without worrying about missions or politics or any of that.

“What is it now?” Zenyatta asked, maintaining his distance, but turning his eyes back to Jesse and where he sat on the bridge. 

Jesse laughed, a small amount of bitterness coming out with it as he came back to the present with only his memories of Gabe and the ring. “A reminder.” Jesse’s eyes were still far away when he said it, still not quite focused on Zenyatta or even the sun coming up over them.

That’s what it had been since Gabe died, a reminder of what could’ve been if he hadn’t left, a reminder of what he and Gabe were, and a reminder about how hopelessly in love with him Jesse still was. Zenyatta was quiet now, turning and watching the sunrise just like Jesse did. There was nothing left that Jesse wanted to say to Zenyatta, and Jesse hoped that he didn’t have any more questions. 

“Why did you answer the recall, McCree?” Zenyatta asked finally, making Jesse believe that there might’ve been genuine curiosity in his voice modulator. 

“I had questions that needed answers.” Jesse said, rising to his feet again, rubbing out his last cigarette of the morning. It was true, there were questions he had about what happened to Gabe, about the Swiss Incident, about almost everything that he wasn’t being told, but he would find it all out, he just needed time.


End file.
